Cookies Are the Key to Evilness
by Mint Pizza Queen
Summary: After falling off the roof to the Pizza Palace, Beast Boy wakes up to find himself where the Titans are evil. Will he be able to escape the torture of bribery? [COMPLETED]


**Author's Note:  
****There will be some parts where the characters will act OOC. But that is because they are in an 'alternate universe'. Although it's not technically alternate, but it's not in the same world. Kay? Enjoy. **

**-Mint Pizza Queen**

* * *

**Cookies Are the Key to Evilness  
**The waiter stood impatiently, chewing obnoxiously on her gum as she waited for the orders to be finished. She was not the only one waiting either. The four Titans, Robin, Starfire, Raven and Cyborg, were waiting impatiently for the fifth Titan, Beast Boy, to finally make up his mind on what pizza he was going to get. 

Robin was shaking the salt and peppershakers watching the little grains spin around in the containers, as Starfire looked around curiously, chewing on her lower lip as she did so. Cyborg was staring with a perturbed expression as Beast Boy shuffled through the menu. Raven sat to his left, and tapped the menu on the table with her patience wearing thin.

"I will have the veggie supreme. No, wait...I'll have the veggie supreme with the ultimate veggie coverage. No, oooooooh! That veggie pizza of superb ness looks awesome!"

The waiter rolled her eyes as she blew a fair sized bubble. A vein began to throb on Raven's forehead as she listened to the salt and peppershakers grind, the shuffling of the menu, the popping of the bubble gum, and the sound of her own menu tapping on the table. Stopping, she waited as he continued to debate.

"I think that I'll have this...no, wait, this! Oh man! What should I pick?" He paused and then smiled as he handed the waiter the menu. "I'll have the regular vegetarian pizza please."

The woman nodded, then grabbed the rest of the menus and walked away muttering. Raven stared wordlessly as Beast Boy leaned back in his chair.

"Now that I've got my order in, what'll we talk about as we wait?"

Starfire perked up and made a cheerful reply. "Shall we talk about the buzzing insects and the flying creatures of feather?"

_Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Boom. _

Somewhere in the distance, several dozen crickets just exploded.

Robin dropped the salt and pepper as Cyborg blinked his human eye a couple times. Beast Boy stared at Raven, for he had heard the exploding crickets.

"Raven, are you okay?"

Raven performed a sarcastic expression by distorting her face. "Of course everything is alright. We only waited a half an hour for you to choose a regular vegetarian pizza and then suddenly try to strike up conversation and have Starfire ask about the birds and the bees, and you made me blow up crickets!"

She swung her arms dramatically only to catch Beast Boy off guard and sent him toppling off the top of the building. A high-pitched scream was heard, which was soon followed by a thud and tires screeching and the clashing of metal to metal.

The four Titans ran over to the edge and looked down to see Beast Boy embedded into the pavement face-down and several cars had collided to avoid running him over.

Robin sweatdropped as Cyborg let out several chuckles whilst he patted Raven on the back. "Maybe we should see if he's okay…"

* * *

Beast Boy felt the tapping of someone on his shoulder. He flinched slightly, remembering the fall. Opening up his eyes, he was laying on the sidewalk surrounded by four figures. The overhead sun shadowed their faces, so he could not tell which was which. He smiled as he tried to sit up. 

"Hey guys. Wow, Raven, you got quite the swing, for one not really trying to smack me off a building. AH!" He threw himself backwards and tried to crawl away. "I'm injured! You can't hurt me!" He looked back only to have questions fill his mind.

The four figures were Slade, Brother Blood, Mad Mod, and Mumbo Jumbo. They exchanged looks with each other nervously, and then looked back at Beast Boy.

"Are you okay, sir Beast Boy? You do not wish to use us as target practice?"

_Snap.  
_  
Something in his mind snapped from Mad Mod's comment. _Sir? Use us as target practice? What the heck was up with them?_

Beast Boy began to chuckle. "I get it; you're all trying to make me feel like I lost my mind in the fall. Pretty soon, the Titans will come rushing around the corner, whoop your butts and we'll be going back to the Tower to play video games or go back and have pizza."

This time Brother Blood stepped forward. "Sir Beast Boy, are you sure you are alright?"

Beast Boy nodded. "I'm sure I'm fine. What I want to know is why you would ask that?"

"Well, sir, for one you said 'Titans'. There is no such thing as Titans. We have our 'High Lords', which you are a member of. In addition, there is no Tower. There is a castle."

Mumbo peeked out from behind Brother Blood. "Plus, what is this pizza you speak of? Is it a job or person?"

If any more brain cells in Beast Boy's brain could die, about two-thirds of them would have instantly died in shock.

Slade walked up and pointed off to the distance. "See, that is your castle. And this is your land."

Beast Boy stared hard ahead and gaped. The city was practically in ruins, and there were posters everywhere of the fellow 'High Lords' reminding them who their leaders were. The castle lay on top of a hill and was bigger than the mall that used to be there.

"Okay, I'm confused. 'High Lords'? What the heck is that?"

Slade took that question. "The 'High Lords' are you, Lord Robin, Lord Cyborg, Queen Starfire, and Queen Raven. However, Raven is the most powerful of them all. She is the one who keeps them in line. Including you. Anyone disobeys her, and she destroys you or sends you to...the pit."

"So, what you're saying is," Beast Boy approached a poster of Raven and looked at it curiously, "that they are evil?"

"We are not evil. Just leading the world in our clutches and making sure everyone does as they are told."

Four figures stepped out from an alley and approached Beast Boy. Raven stepped out and glared at the four other has-been villains. They squeaked, and bowed several times before running away.

Raven looked back to Beast Boy and made a grumbling noise in her throat. "So, I am sensing you are not of this dimension. You are from...the other side."

Beast Boy looked at the others nervously. "If that includes getting rid of the high and mighty royalty doodads, then, yeah."

Raven took Beast Boy by the arm and pointed to the castle. "Come with me, I shall give you the grand tour of the castle. You will like what you see."

Beast Boy allowed her to drag him away. 'Woah, this is the most freakish day I've ever had.'

* * *

"This is the main court room." Raven pushed open two large doors to reveal a good-sized room with people rushing back and forth attending to their tasks. Raven walked through with the changeling following close behind her. 

"Take the left hallway beyond these doors will bring you to the royal kitchen. Take the right will bring you to the living area. Go through these doors," She motioned to a set of doors on the other side of the room, "will bring you to the chambers. Our rooms are labeled."

Beast Boy nodded. "Cool. But, I have a question-"

"Yes?"

Beast Boy held his hands up to the sky as if praying for answers to come to him. "Why is everything backwards? The good guys from my place did not rule with an iron fist like you guys do. In addition, the villains did not cower in fear; they were tough. Fightable and good competition. Also, here, you guys are just plain **_mean._**"

Starfire, Robin and Cyborg froze and looked directly at Raven, awaiting her comment. She blinked at Beast Boy several times, before chuckling.

"You are highly amusing, Beast Boy. But enough of this shenanigans, we must perform the ritual." She swept across the floor gracefully as Beast Boy narrowed his eyes.

"What ritual?"

She turned and with a devious smile, she answered. "The one in which you become one of us, a 'High Lord'." She bowed her head slightly, shadowing her eyes. "_You will come to the dark side_."

It was Beast Boy's turn to chuckle. However, instead of chuckling, he burst into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.

"Good one Rae! Very nice! However, I have to get back to my own place where we aren't evil and the bad guys are. So, must go. Bye." He walked to the door only to have it blocked by several workers. He turned around, faced the girl, and glared. "Okay, Raven, I didn't want to have to use force or anything, so just let me go. I've already got friends back where I'm from."

Raven smiled as she approached him. "Oh, but you can't go back. Your place is here, among us. There's no going back."

_Splat.  
_  
Beast Boy held up two mincemeat pies and smirked. "Don't come any closer or you get more pies in the face, girl!"

The pies that Beast Boy had already thrown slid off the girl's face and fell to the floor with sickening splats. Raven's face was distorted between shock and anger. Taking a hand, she wiped her face off with one swipe and glared. "Come here you-" She approached only to have to dive off to the side to avoid flying pies.

Beast Boy's arms swung as fast as he could grab the pies and throw them. "EAT PIES EVIL PEOPLE!"

Suddenly, nothing was flying in the air. Beast Boy looked to his pie supply to see that it had dwindled to nothing. He glanced up and saw everything and everyone (except himself of course) covered in the mincemeat pie filling.

Raven rose from the mess and shook her arms to get the gunk off. Her eyes flared with flames shooting out of her pupils. Teething gritting, she spat at him.

"YOU FOOL! LOOK AT THE MESS YOU MADE!"

Beast Boy looked down, scooped up some of the pie filling, and flung it into Raven's face, knocking her backwards.

"Hope you like it, because I don't. Ta ta!" With that, he dashed out of the castle.

* * *

"Yoo-hoo! Slade! Brother Blood! Mumbo! Mad Mod!" Beast Boy called out as he ran through the streets he first woke up on. "I can't believe I'm calling out for villains to find me. Hey guys! Where are you?" 

"Shh! Are you trying to get us killed?" Slade poked his head around a corner and frowned. Beast Boy ran over and met up with the four people he first met. Slade sighed. "So, I see you didn't join up with them. Why?"

Beast Boy snorted. "Cause I already have a place, and it ain't here."

"BEAST BOY! GET OUT HERE NOW!"

They all froze as several things exploded in the distance.

"Beast Boy, the longer it takes you to get out here, the longer the torture and punishment!"

Mumbo clung to Beast Boy's feet. "It is best to go out now! While it is still short!"

Beast Boy poked his head out and saw Raven standing in a clean uniform glaring. Her glare softened as he stepped out. "Ah, I see you are smart enough to come out when the time is right. I bet the other Raven would just pulverize you, yes?"

Beast Boy fiddled with his fingers. "Uh, well,-"

Raven waved a hand. "Never mind. I have an offer that you can't refuse because it is so good. Come and join us on the dark side and rule the world with us."

Beast Boy shook his head. "Nope. No thanks."

Raven tightened her hands into fists. "Come to the dark side, Beast Boy…"

Beast Boy pointed angrily and yelled. "No! You're evil!"

Raven smiled as she released the fists. "Beast Boy, come to the dark side...we have cookies."

Beast Boy's eyes widened in delight. "Cookies? Are they chocolate chip?"

Raven nodded. "Yes, they are."

Beast Boy thought for a moment. "Do I get a glass of soy milk with it?"

Raven rolled her eyes. She was winning. "Yes, you do."

A twinkle formed in Beast Boy's eyes. "Can it be chocolate flavored milk?"

"Sure, why not. You get the chocolate milk and cookies that are chocolate chip."

Beast Boy began to drool. "Oh! Can I have one of those little umbrella's put in the milk and also can I have a bendy-neck straw with it?"

Raven sighed. "Sure, you can have the bendy straw and the umbrella…"

Beast Boy smiled. "Are the cookies on a saucer?"

"They are on a silver platter."

Beast Boy then suddenly narrowed his eyes. He then asked in a low tone, "Wait a minute...how big are the chocolate chips?"

Raven fumed. "DAMNIT BEAST BOY JUST TAKE THEM!" She lunged at him and began to shove cookie after cookie into his mouth. "EAT! EAT I SAY! EAT!"

Beast Boy swallowed each cookie and had his mouth ready for each one that came hurtling at him. "Yum! I am so sorry! But I cannot resist the cookies!"

_"Beast Boy!"  
_  
Beast Boy froze as the cookies stopped coming. "What, Raven?"

_"Beast Boy, damnit wake up!"__  
_  
An imaginary force smacked him, causing his head to swerve side to side. Something then lifted him up and began to shake him. _"If you don't wake up I'll kill you!"_

* * *

Beast Boy's eyes suddenly opened and was met with a hand smacking his cheek. "Ow! What the..." 

All around him were the four Titans. Raven had a hold on his shirt and was the one who was smacking him. Thinking that it was the same Raven who had been trying to convince him to join the dark side, he shoved the girl to the ground and stood boldly.

"You will never get me to join the dark side! You may have tried to weaken me with cookies, but you will never get me! Never!"

Starfire looked at the changeling worriedly. "Are you alright, friend Beast Boy? You just shoved friend Raven to the ground and you are talking about…cookies and an evil side…"

Beast Boy's eyes flared. "Do not perplex me, you evil Queen Starfire!"

Raven scrambled to her feet and brushed the dirt off. "Okay, I am sorry for hitting you off the roof. But that is no reason to go insane on us."

"Ha! That story won't work on me! DIE EVIL QUEEN RAVEN!"

He lunged at Raven and tackled her to the ground. She screamed and began to wrestle with him.

"You dimwitted idiot! What the hell do you think you're doing? Get off me! GET OFF!"

"Ha! No match for me, are you?"

Starfire then leaped in to break them up. "Please do not fight! AIE! HE TOUCHED MY GREBNACKS!"

Robin, hearing this, lunged in. Cyborg shrugged and leaped in to break up the fighting Titans.

On the opposite side of the street, Slade stood in the shadows staring dumbfounded at the fighting Titans. He shrugged. "All well, guess I won't need to destroy the Titans today. Oh would you look at the time, I guess I won't miss my program after all." With that, he walked away with a bag and pulled out a cookie and ate it.

**_-The End-_**


End file.
